Willie Bounce!!!

Do the bounce, Willie Bounce everybody fi a do di Willie Bounce
Do the bounce, Willie Bounce everybody fi a do Bogle bounce

Wow! The Willie Bounce is real friggin fun. I went to see Sherwin Winchester in Zen on Friday. It was the best. Actually Sherwin was a very small part of the experience; however of all the times I have seen him over the carnival season. He was actually way better in Zen.

Here is the story. A big crew; Crystal, Crystal, Megan, Leizelle, Candice, Candice, Mai Kim, Mark, and some other people who I still don’t know, but partied with any way, went to the club Friday. Now Mark was steady complaining about how he hates Sherwin, which was cool. No one really “loved” him anyway.

Now his performance was good. The “ZEN” experience really made a difference. I swear, I think that they are probably injecting pure O2 directly onto the dance floor during the party. EVERYONE was “sprang”!!! I mean, everyone, yes EVERYONE, was dancing, even Mark. Now people had drinks, but not enough to get intoxicated. I DON’T DRINK, and even I felt drunk. It’s weird. Something has to be wrong with that club. Some people just can’t feel right having that much fun with out direct usage of some substance or the other.

Anyway, after Sherwin, it was like the party had just started. Now, I’m not quite fond of dancehall reggae, well at least up till that night that is what I thought. I Willie Bounced the night away to about ten songs about the Willie Bounce, or one dance or the other. Now every where I go, I want to Willie Bounce. That Damn dance has me all confused.

I do the Chaplin, the Shelly-belly, the helicopter, The Mauvais Langue, and everyone else was doing it to. Unbelievable!!! Now my life will never be the same because of the Willie Bounce. See you in Zen next time peeps. I’ll be there for shizzle.

I LOVE this album!!!!

I LOVE this album. This is by far the best album for the Carnival, and is good to listen to throughout the whole year. Maximus is truly a genius. Love Generation gets 5 stars on my iTunes.

I’m really happy I invested my money in this album. It was very smartly done. First of all it’s a double album. He put all his alternative music tracks on the first CD and all the actual Soca & Raga Soca on the other CD. I personally like disk one more. This could be because I have been over saturated with all the soca tracks before Ash Wednesday. It could also be because I’m a real alternative kinda guy. I like stuff that is different you know.

Maximus has very impressive, positive lyrics. He was featured in the catholic news and sh*t but yet he manages to keep the gayness factor down to a minimum. I think it’s good to have the positive word of God in all our parties, without having people hugging and telling their brethren they love them.

My favorite song is Jah Jah Team. The song is about the similarities between; following the Lord’s way and FOOTBALL. Yep, football. This man loves football! As a matter of fact, I think that half of the songs have some reference to football in some way.
Anyway, the lyrics go:

Only the best can represent
Otherwise get back on the bench
Are you ready for the Tournament?
Hardcore demons we up against
No time to be over confident
Even the wicked have real talent
Trust in the Captain experience
Follow the tactics and rudiments
Sign on the line of His excellence
Don’t get tricked by the opponent
When them bring offence
We will bring defense

I think this is a real creative theme with very strong lyrics. His concepts on spreading love and righteousness are easy to swallow. He’s not like Enrique Iglesias, or Luther Vandross or Michael Bolton singing about love or any thing, Where else you will find a man singing so powerfully about love with a good bit of bass in his voice, and can appeal to the average macho man. It’s something big men can enjoy and be positive about. Not vulnerable and sometimes effeminate.

Well that’s my serious entry for the week. Go get that album. Like I said, 5 stars imy iTunes.

The Gym and why it SUCKS!!

I started in the Club Savannah gym about three weeks ago, and I hate it. I suppose I didn’t quit yet because, I already paid my money, I haven’t lost my “Advertising belly” yet and I NEED to regain my cardio vascular strength. As much as I hate it, for the sake of “heath” I have to keep going.

Now I used to watch people in the gym on T.V. and in reality and tell myself, “WOW! That looks like fun.” You know I have this image of that 50 Cent video in my head. You know like “In da club”. I used to see these strong, healthy, fit, good looking people, frolicking around in the gym, only to realise for myself, that IT SUCKS ASS!!!

Now you may go to the gym and you are one of those strong, healthy, fit, good-looking people, frolicking around and that’s OK. Good for you. Now here is why I think it sucks, because this is my blog and not yours

First of all, IT’S BORING!!! I understand three weeks ago that twenty minutes on a treadmill is a HELLOFALONGTIME. OK. I go on the treadmill and I set it to about 6.5 kmph and to run a goal of 20 minutes. I start running for about a minute. Now I’m saying to myself, “well this is pretty good, it’s not bad.” So I am relaxed. I start thinking about what I’m going to do today while I look out the windows at the beautiful trees of he Savannah. I listen to the steady pulse of the techno music playing in the background, and maybe try to run in time with it or nod my head in sync with the beat. I look out the window again at the sky and I see the sun rising over the trees. It is so beautiful. I see the birds flying in the sky, and observe the other people out on the savannah doing laps. Then I try so snap out of this little daze thinking that alt least five minutes went by only to realise that I have only been running for a LOUSY 20 SECOND!! Like I said, “it is extremely boring!” you might as well pass the twenty minutes by counting up to 1200.

These strong, healthy, fit, good-looking people, frolicking around the gym, where are they? One would think, (this is of coarse using the 50 cent video as a direct reference) that the gym would be an excellent place to meet strong, healthy, fit, good-looking people. But that’s a lie. You are actually going to see mostly overweight, unhealthy slobs just like yourself. All the hot, sexy people don’t need to be in the gym. They would probably like to spend the first couple of hours of the day either getting laid or getting breakfast.

The gym is also a real shot on the ego. Here is why. There are two sets of weights; a set for men, and a set for girls. I say this because the weights look suited for the gender they pertain to. The men’s sets look like “man weights.” They are all black and rugged and ranges in weights from 30 go upward. The “girl weights” are all smooth and sleek with some kind of latex covering and also come in a variety of colors, like pink and light blue and green. They just look GAY. Now I was instructed to go and get the manly 30 kg weights to do lateral presses. Now, after the first set I realised that the weights were too heavy. I was then instructed to get the 25 kg weights. Now here is where my ego was hurt. There are no MANLY 25 kg weights. I had to use the girly weights. The thing about it is that they were still heavy, why do they have to be so gay looking. Mean while this big BUFF brother cuts in front of me and picks up the 50 kg weights, and does the same exercise with extreme ease. I better get strong quick or I will kill myself.

Lastly, you may see a naked guy or two. This may not be a homosexual thing, but it is definitely against the man code. Without prier warning sometimes you just can’t help seeing the naked guy in the locker room. And it’s usually some old white guy. It’s real scary. Why don’t you just stay in the frigging shower and put your juckey shorts on man. I mean common. That is not the way to kick of the morning, While 50 cent gets to see a nice, sexy, nude female in his bathroom, I get totally grossed out by this naked, old white guy in the locker room.

I don’t laugh at fat people any more cause now I am among them. I prey to God I don’t become one of them, and that is why I think I will stay in the gym.

Never put off for tomorrow...

OK, well I don't have time for most things, what the hell am I doing here? Well I just realised that I talk a lot. It’s mostly a lot of SH*T, but it’s good sh*t. A blog is a good way of documenting shit… ops!! I mean “sh*t”. Why should only everyone else get to whine? I have a lot of sh*t to say, that I don't always get to say. Ha HA! It's my turn to talk and there is nothing you can do about it. Mwah Hah Hah!!

So I finally set up the blog. Now hear this; I am not a writer, however I am an artist. I really don't see this primarily as a creative forum, but as a way to say sh*t that I think I need to say. It's kind of weird because I lack something my friends and co-workers like to call “tact”. Yeah! I do say a lot of shit, OUT LOUD! And with bad timing. Well, this is in case people didn’t hear me the first time. Brace yourself. I may hurt your ears… I mean eyes?...

OK here are the rules:

Pay no attention to spelling and grammatical errors. These “mistakes” were intentionally done or should appear this way to cover the fact that I really actually can't spell or properly correct my own grammar.

If your name "happens" to appear in my blog, and it so "happens" that bad things are said about you, the name was probably used to refer to someone fictional. This is not a representation of the said person in any way, unless I openly don't like you and you are not strong enough to cause me any physical harm.

Like I said, “I’m not a writer”, so don’t go looking forward to any of that creative poetry sh*t. I think that indulging in that kind of bullahmanizm, is a waste of time and web space.

If you are offended by particular quotes, references, facts or opinions represented in this blog, you are kindly asked to place your movable speech organ onto my musculus sphincter ani externus and both parts must engage in mutual touching or caressing with each other.

There will be instances of extreme bluntness and "lack of tact". If you simply do not have the stomach to withstand such implications, please refrain from reading this blog.

Well look at that. I tired type already. I also need to mention, because of my racy lifestyle, I have a short attention span sometimes and I may tend to di.........